Funny Voicemail Message 1
Hello you lot reached your name and I'1000 non hither. Leave a message.. BEEP.. Seconds later say "HAHA, that was a fake beep created by my oral cavity. I fooled you skilful!"

Funny Voicemail Message two
A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when I'chiliad R for Recovered!

Funny Voicemail Message 3
A is for apple tree, B is for beer and that may be why I'm non hither. Leave a message.

Funny Voicemail Message iv
Alright mind, I'thou on one line with my girlfriend and her all-time friend on the other. Leave a message and if yous promise to not tell either of them that I'm a player, I'll telephone call you back.

Funny Voicemail Message five
Back in MY DAY we didn't use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for u.s.. Those nosotros called "Answering Machines" and I just realized.. I sound similar an idiot!

Funny Voicemail Message 6
Bob is currently in the shower. He'south there an 60 minutes per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself.

Funny Voicemail Message 7
Help me.. Aid ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE Phone call 911!!!! Bustle!!! AHHHHH!!!

Funny Voicemail Bulletin viii
Hi this is Bob's answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #one is your full proper name including centre name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit carte du jour number with the 3 digit security code on the back. At that place'south a porn site I want to join and I don't want to use my moms information.

Funny Voicemail Message 9
Hello you take reached Bob and I'm not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors.

Funny Voicemail Bulletin 10
Hi you've reached Bob. If you want to get out a bulletin press ane. If y'all want to leave a message most how sexy I am, press ii. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already tin tell, the number pressing doesn't do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool..

Funny Voicemail Message 11
Hi, I am Bob's answering machine and he's pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and I'g sick of all the button pressing he does. If yous come over, tin yous delight take me? I need a new possessor who doesn't push button buttons!

Funny Voicemail Message 12
Hi, I understand how abrasive long messages tin can be. Why do people ever waste so much time talking well-nigh crap? Well I'm with you lot on this one. I tin can't stand up people who leave long letters talking about zippo useful. Why can't they simply get to the signal? All they have to say is "Hey I'm not hither cause I'm doing important stuff. Leave a message!" Anyways I kept this message short. Leave ane later the beep.

Funny Voicemail Message 13
Howdy, I'grand in the process of getting married. Why can't the priest operate as quick equally a microwave? Less than five minutes or your money back!

Funny Voicemail Message 14
How-do-you-do, I'm not interested in answering your call right at present just my voicemail is. Get out one!

Funny Voicemail Message 15
Hello, if you lot're a telemarketer give me your number and I'll call yous back. What, y'all don't want me to telephone call y'all back? Now you know how I feel!

Funny Voicemail Bulletin 16
Hello, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own accurate voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those likewise!

Funny Voicemail Bulletin 17
Hi, this is Bob's voicemail and he's on vacation. He'south in the Caribbean area partying with all the tourists. If you similar you can rob his place and I won't say a discussion!

Funny Voicemail Message eighteen
Hullo, this isn't Bob'due south phone number. You got the wrong number.

Funny Voicemail Message 19
Howdy, y'all've reached the pizza delivery guy and I'one thousand trying to make a delivery merely am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th fourth dimension. This customer gets me every time!

Funny Voicemail Bulletin 20
I didn't answer your call because, well, I didn't desire to.

Funny Voicemail Bulletin 21
I had the telephone ringing in my mitt but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a bulletin.

Funny Voicemail Message 22
If you are a male, keep your voice and say you lot are a female person. Howdy, this is Bob'southward girlfriend. I collection him in debt and took his phone. Go out a message and if you sound rich & sexy, you lot'll hear back!

Funny Voicemail Message 23
If you're calling for Bob, press 1. If you lot are calling for Greg, printing 2. Hey I have some news for you, there's no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you lot! You got fooled pretty good!

Funny Voicemail Message 24
I'm horny. Leave me your availability and I'll call back as soon equally possible.

Funny Voicemail Message 25
I'm pretty drunk & unstable. I remember my hands are vibrating. How am I going to concur my side by side drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!!

Funny Voicemail Message 26
I'grand probably too lazy to answer. Leave a bulletin and I'll remember. If you don't hear from me, then it's cause I don't like you!

Funny Voicemail Bulletin 27
Keep your original voice Hello, I'm Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta continue off the Viagra!

Funny Voicemail Message 28
Luke.. I am your begetter!

Funny Voicemail Message 29
Make audio furnishings with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob who's hither to make the save. You want to talk to me just I will be charging a fee. Leave a bulletin so I can make enough for a massage!

Funny Voicemail Message thirty
Moan out loud. I'm busy.. working.. out.. leave.. a.. message!

Funny Voicemail Bulletin 31
Oh no.. You're calling.. Someone.. delight pull my plug!!! Hullo.. anyone there?? NOOOOOO…

Funny Voicemail Message 32
Oh wicked, I finally got an answering motorcar. YAY! Now how do you work this affair? Permit'due south see.. To record bulletin, press the REC push button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, it'southward right here and yous already pressed information technology! And so you lot say Ahh crap!

Funny Voicemail Bulletin 33
Sorry I don't answer the phone or bank check my messages but if y'all are calling to donate me money, leave a message and I'll phone call you dorsum within seconds.

Funny Voicemail Bulletin 34
Sorry I missed your phone call. I'm probably running away from the married woman. She's in ane of those moods.. AGAIN!

Funny Voicemail Message 35
This answering machine is expensive and works like a piece of junk!

Funny Voicemail Message 36
This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the globe. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I tin can listen to it in five.1 surround sound!

Funny Voicemail Bulletin 37
What the heck do you want!?

Funny Voicemail Bulletin 38
Yo, this is Bob coming to you lot from the rave, never knowing when to acquit. I tin rhyme within time and you should get out one before I win a ton!

Funny Voicemail Message 39
You've reached the countdown.. 5.. 4.. 3.. ii.. ane..

Funny Voicemail Message twoscore
If a phone rings in an empty room and no i is there to answer information technology, was there actually a phone phone call? Aid me investigate this miracle by leaving your proper name and number later the tone.

*

Funny Joker : I dearest funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes hither are Non work friendly, you've been warned.

Website - Actually Funny Jokes